The Secrets of Irresistibility

We love irresistible people, but they weren’t born that way. They developed the habits of irresistibility. You can, too.

We love irresistible people, but they weren’t born that way. They developed the habits of irresistibility. You can, too.

Some people are simply irresistible. But why? Travis Bradberry, who regularly reports on emotional intelligence, sniffed around and discovered 11 secrets of irresistibility. His methodology may not exactly be traditional research, but it sure is interesting.

Sharing his “findings” in a 2015 Forbes article, Bradberry writes, “Irresistible people aren’t constantly searching for validation. They are confident enough to find it in themselves. Their sense of self-worth comes from within.” This healthy perspective, he says, allows irresistible people to exercise more curiosity about others.

Bradberry posits that irresistibility isn’t the byproduct of dumb luck; it is a matter of personal habits. He suggests anyone can emulate the “secrets” of irresistibility. Here is a synopsis of those secrets: 

  1. Treat everyone with respect and act like you are no better than anyone else.

  2. Follow the Platinum Rule by treating others as they would like to be treated.

  3. Ditch small talk to engage in real conversation and form an emotional connection.

  4. Focus on people more than your smartphone.

  5. Avoid trying too hard to impress others.

  6. Recognize the difference between fact and opinion.

  7. Be authentic – be yourself.

  8. Exhibit integrity by walking your talk.

  9. Smile.

  10. Look presentable to reflect your self-respect.

  11. Find reasons to love life.

“Irresistible people did not have fairy godmothers hovering over their cribs. They’ve simply perfected certain appealing qualities and habits that anyone can adopt as their own.,” Bradberry says. “They think about other people more than they think about themselves, and they make other people feel liked, respected, understood and seen. Just remember: the more you focus on others, the more irresistible you’ll be.”