Guy Noir

To Be or Not To Be Shakespeare

"We are such stuff as dreams are made on..."The purest treasure mortal times afford is spotless reputation.

         –Richard II

It was a cold, rainy night. I was sitting at my desk sipping my third bourbon when I heard a knock on the door.

A man, a strange man dressed in what I assumed was a costume, slipped in and sat down.

"I've got a problem, a big problem," he said before I could offer a drink or find a clean glass to pour it in. "Do you recognize me?"

"Not really. Are you related to Wayne Newton?"

"Of course not. I'm William Shakespeare."

"I should have guessed. Did I offer you a drink?"

"I suppose you've seen the new movie, Anonymous?”

"No, I avoid the movies. Can't stand the smell of stale popcorn."

"Too bad. Well, in this movie, I appear as a fraud, an impostor, a shill for some rich aristocrat who purportedly wrote all my plays and sonnets. Can you believe that? Some people actually believe this movie is true."

"Actually, I read an article that said a woman from Italy who married an English big-shot actually wrote all your stuff."